More and more couples are choosing to maintain relationships while living apart.\u00a0 There are many reasons why this approach may work.<\/p>\n
Some couples choose to remain married for religious reasons.\u00a0 However, this doesn\u2019t necessarily mean they have to live together.\u00a0 Some couples are setting up separate households and living separate lives, while maintaining the bonds of marriage.<\/p>\n
Similarly, for some couples, staying married makes sense for financial reasons. \u00a0If the couple owns a business, for example, dividing the joint assets may seem less than optimal.\u00a0 If the couple is committed to the business, they may choose to remain married and run the business while living apart and pursuing their own love interests.<\/p>\n
Some couples just do better living apart.\u00a0 While this is not the conventional way to approach marriage, it works for some people.\u00a0 In fact, some people believe living apart has saved their marriage, often for the same reasons unmarried couples living apart cite.\u00a0 See below for more.<\/p>\n
On the other end of the spectrum are people who start relationships and choose to remain in separate households.\u00a0 These new trendsetters are referred to as LATs.\u00a0 Couples \u201cliving apart together.\u201d\u00a0 It involves a conscience choice to develop a committed relationship without developing a single household.<\/p>\n
\u201cGray divorce\u201d refers to couples divorcing in their 50s, 60s, or even in their 70s.\u00a0 Once divorced, they set up households within intention.\u00a0 When they later meet someone new and fall in love, they are often in no hurry to race back down the aisle.\u00a0 In fact, many are choosing to maintain their separate households \u2013 and it seems to be working just fine for many couples.<\/p>\n
The Wall Street Journal recently\u00a0wrote about\u00a0this topic.\u00a0 There are several reasons why couples may choose not to live together, even while maintaining a long term relationship.<\/p>\n
One reason couples may choose to live apart has to do with lifestyle preferences.\u00a0 For example, if one is an early riser, and one is a night owl, living together may not result in a happy couple.\u00a0 However, if this same couple maintains separate residences, they have the opportunity to cherish their time together, as well as cherish their respective early mornings and late nights.<\/p>\n
Along that same vein, often times two people may have different tolerances for the level of cleanliness in their homes. Rather than living together and bickering about dishes in the sink (or on the bedside table), these couples maintain their own spaces.\u00a0 Depending on the distance, they may choose to meet and spend weekends at a neutral location, or they may choose to \u201ctolerate\u201d the other\u2019s home for time together, knowing they can retreat to their own space.<\/p>\n
Even for couples where both desire a divorce, the children may not be as \u201con board\u201d as the adults.\u00a0 Introducing a new love can create conflict.\u00a0 Some couples choose to proactively avoid such conflict by limiting the time they spend with their new love to time when the children are with their other parent.\u00a0 This can work well with couples where one has young children, or where both have children in the home, provided they can get their parenting time on the same schedule.<\/p>\n
For some couples, living apart puts the relationship in a different perspective.\u00a0 They are more able to focus on loving their partner when they are together.\u00a0 They are also able to work late or participate on a sports team on some evenings without it cutting into time with their partner.<\/p>\n
When living in two separate households, couples may find it much easier to maintain separate finances.\u00a0 There are many reasons this can be a good idea. Adult children may be more comfortable with this arrangement, as their inheritance may not be<\/p>\n
If you are a married couple who has decided to try living apart, you may benefit from a separation agreement.\u00a0 This contract, written by a family law attorney, addresses important topics such as parenting, taking care of the bills, maintaining the household, etc.<\/p>\n