In situations where a couple with children decides to divorce, the issue of child custody must be resolved.\u00a0 This includes who will be the primary residential parent and a parenting time schedule for the non-custodial parent.\u00a0 If the parties cannot agree on these issues, a custody battle can result.<\/p>\n
Custody disputes can become very emotional and encourage irrational behavior not in the best interests of the parties, including the children involved.\u00a0 Below are some of the most common mistakes people make during a child custody dispute \u2013 behavior one should avoid at all costs.<\/p>\n
Custody orders can ether be agreed to by the parties or established by the court.\u00a0 Either way, an existing custody order is enforceable by the court.\u00a0 Intentionally violating the order can result in a finding of contempt of court and potential jailtime.\u00a0 In addition, violating the order will not elevate your standing with the court.\u00a0 A child custody dispute is not the time to look bad or irresponsible to the judge.<\/p>\n
It is not uncommon for a party in a divorce to experience feelings of bitterness, hostility, and frustration by the entire custody process.\u00a0 Regardless of how your soon to be ex-spouse behaves, do not criticize him or her in front of your children.\u00a0 Doing so places your children in a position where they feel they have to choose sides.\u00a0 Divorce is difficult enough for your children.\u00a0 If your soon to be ex makes choices which negatively impact the children, odds are the children already know.\u00a0 If you need to vent, do so to your friends or perhaps a therapist.\u00a0 It is always more appropriate to complain to an adult than it is to your children.<\/p>\n
Remember when you are involved in a custody dispute, all of your actions and your words can be used as evidence against you in the court proceedings.\u00a0 Your behavior, as well as that of your soon to be ex-spouse, will be observed carefully by the court during the custody dispute.\u00a0 Your ability to get along with the other parent can be a factor the court considers in determining child custody.\u00a0 Threats do not show an ability to get along.\u00a0 Assume that all of your actions are being recorded \u2013 they may be.<\/p>\n
Never post disparaging comments about the other party, the attorneys, the system in general, or the judge on any form of social media.\u00a0 Anything posted on social media is public. \u00a0Your posts may be used against you in court.\u00a0 It is probably best to not post on social media at all during a divorce proceeding, especially if there is a custody battle.\u00a0 Even seemingly harmless posts can cause an unnecessary (and unhelpful) emotional reaction from the other side.<\/p>\n
Do not coach your children to take your side in a custody dispute.\u00a0 Never encourage them to lie or say things that you think will be helpful to you.\u00a0 Your children may be interviewed by experts and possibly the court. The experts will know if your child has been coached or is speaking from the heart.\u00a0 If you are caught coaching your children it will hurt your case.\u00a0 Instead of trying to coach your children with words, let your actions demonstrate your parenting abilities.<\/p>\n
Do not do something that will panic the other parent.\u00a0 Both parents need to know there their children are at all times.\u00a0 A failure to keep the other parent informed of the children\u2019s whereabouts is likely a violation of the custody order and possibly state law.\u00a0 Respect your soon to be ex-spouse and their feelings.\u00a0 This is a difficult time for everyone.\u00a0 Remember, as long as you have children in common, you will have some sort of relationship with the other parent, likely beyond childhood.\u00a0 Your words and actions today set the tone for future interactions.<\/p>\n
Regardless of how good you think shopping feels, this is not the time to go on a shopping spree. \u00a0Courts may view spending excessively suspiciously, especially if you are arguing you cannot afford current levels of child support or your children\u2019s expenses.\u00a0 Emotional spending may feel good in the short term, but it may hurt your case in the long term.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, moving in with a new love seems like a good idea.\u00a0 This is an emotional time and coming home to someone that supports you can be reassuring and helpful.\u00a0 However, having a romantic partner living with you or spending the night while going through a custody dispute can confuse and upset the children.\u00a0 In addition, it does not show good judgment. \u00a0Courts may view this conduct negatively.<\/p>\n
During the custody proceedings you will feel pressure to settle.\u00a0 Settling a custody matter can be a good thing if it is in the best interests of your children and is under terms you can live with.\u00a0 Do not shut down and agree with anything in the face of conflict.\u00a0 This is rarely in your children\u2019s best interests or your best interests.\u00a0 Any agreement you enter into will govern your relationship with your children and the other parent into the future.\u00a0 Make sure your voice is heard.\u00a0 It is possible to change an agreement in the future, but it can be difficult.\u00a0 It is much easier to get what you need in the initial agreement.\u00a0 This does not mean you should not be willing to compromise.\u00a0 Work with your attorney and stand up for what you want.<\/p>\n
Custody disputes are extremely complicated, particularly if they result in litigation. \u00a0Critical skills include high level negotiation skills and knowledge of the law.\u00a0 Even experienced divorce attorneys do not represent themselves in family law matters.\u00a0 Working with an attorney may seem expensive in the beginning, but you will have to live with the results.\u00a0 Hiring a qualified, experienced family law attorney will help you achieve the best results possible in your case.<\/p>\n