Not every divorce is resolved through negotiation. \u00a0Sometimes, divorces go to trial. \u00a0The idea of testifying often causes anxiety and concern. \u00a0It is likely that you have never testified in court before. \u00a0Knowing what to expect can ease anxiety. \u00a0The court will place you under oath. \u00a0You will be questioned by your attorney, known as direct examination. \u00a0Then you will be questioned by the other attorney, known as cross-examination. \u00a0Direct and cross examination goes back and forth for however many rounds it takes to fully document the issues on the record. \u00a0Here are other things to know and do to lessen anxiety.<\/p>\n
This is the most important piece of advice in any divorce. \u00a0Your attorney prepares you for your trial, including testifying. \u00a0Practice testifying with your attorney. \u00a0Practice both direct examination and cross-examination. \u00a0Do not memorize your testimony. \u00a0At its best, direct examination feels like a conversation between two people.<\/p>\n
Discuss with your attorney the issues most important to you. \u00a0This allows your attorney to emphasize the appropriate issues during the trial.<\/p>\n
Tell your attorney everything. \u00a0Attorneys can deal with bad facts if they are aware of them. \u00a0Do not surprise your attorney from the witness stand.<\/p>\n
Discuss with your attorney what clothes you wear. \u00a0You want to be comfortable, but this is not the time for cutoffs and a t-shirt.<\/p>\n
Your attorney has likely prepared exhibits for the judge with information about values of assets, income, budgets, and other important information. \u00a0Do not be afraid to ask if you can refer to the exhibits when you are testifying. \u00a0Nobody expects you to memorize all of the relevant numbers before you testify. \u00a0Do not rely solely on your memory. \u00a0Accurate testimony is vital.<\/p>\n
Drive to the courthouse before the day of your trial so you know where it is and how to get there. \u00a0Drive at the same time you will need to leave for your trial. \u00a0This gives you the exact amount of time your drive will take. \u00a0Look for parking. \u00a0How far is parking from the courthouse door? \u00a0How much will it cost? \u00a0Can you use a card or do you need cash? \u00a0Trials are already nerve-wracking, don\u2019t add being late or a white-knuckle drive to the courthouse.<\/p>\n
If possible, go into the courthouse when you drive to the courthouse ahead of time. \u00a0Learn where your courtroom is going to be. \u00a0Find the nearest bathroom, water fountain, coffee shop, vending machine, and anything else you think you might need. \u00a0Smokers, identify the smoking area.<\/p>\n
Listen to the question being asked. \u00a0Answer that question \u2014 and only that question \u2014 with the shortest answer possible and stop talking. \u00a0Do not provide additional explanation. \u00a0Particularly during cross-examination, do not say, \u201cYes, but\u2026\u201d \u00a0Your attorney questions you again after the other attorney. \u00a0He or she cleans up your incomplete answers. \u00a0Do not volunteer additional information. \u00a0For example, if the attorney asks whether you own a certain stock, say \u201cYes,\u201d or \u201cNo.\u201d \u00a0Do not say, \u201cNo, I do not own that stock, but I did five years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n
Do not guess what the question means if you do not understand it. \u00a0Ask the attorney to repeat or rephrase the question. \u00a0This also applies to compound questions. \u00a0Ask the attorney to break down the question if it is too long and complicated.<\/p>\n
Before answering, take a breath. \u00a0This gives your attorney a chance to make any appropriate objections. \u00a0It also gives you time to consider your answer. \u00a0Further, it gives the court reporter a chance to catch up after the question has been asked. \u00a0Answering questions quickly does not help your case. \u00a0Failure to think before you answer can hurt your case.<\/p>\n
The other attorney may ask you questions that upset you. \u00a0A divorce is very personal and emotional. \u00a0Do not get angry during testimony. \u00a0Complain to your friends later, not in court.<\/p>\n
Treat the other attorney with respect, even when you feel he or she is not respecting you. \u00a0Similarly, respect the court. \u00a0If an objection is made during your testimony, wait for the court to rule. \u00a0Do not try to squeeze in your answer.<\/p>\n
Never lie during testimony. \u00a0Some answers may hurt your case. \u00a0Your attorney already knows that information and has a plan for dealing with it. \u00a0Lying on the stand under oath is perjury, a crime. \u00a0Also, it upsets judges. \u00a0The judge will decide your case. \u00a0You want the judge neutral, not upset with you.<\/p>\n
Avoid \u201cnever,\u201d \u201calways,\u201d \u201call,\u201d and other absolute words. \u00a0A good attorney will be able to find examples proving those terms inaccurate. \u00a0Those words do not advance your case and make you look like you are exaggerating.<\/p>\n
Do not use words like, \u201cmaybe,\u201d \u201cprobably,\u201d \u201cI believe,\u201d or \u201cif I had to guess,\u201d for example. \u00a0Those answers sound vague and tell the judge you are unsure of your answer. \u00a0Instead, answer the question directly. \u00a0If you know the answer, answer the question. \u00a0Much like absolute words, crutch words negatively impact witness credibility.<\/p>\n
It is acceptable to say \u201cI do not know\u2019\u201d or \u201cI do not remember,\u201d if that is the truth. \u00a0Do not guess. \u00a0You know what your attorney is going to ask you and you prepare for those questions. \u00a0Your attorney knows some of the questions the other attorney is going to ask, but not all of them. \u00a0You cannot prepare for every possible question. \u00a0It is okay if you don\u2019t know the answers to every question.<\/p>\n
Lawyers argue for a living. \u00a0You will probably lose the argument. \u00a0It throws you off your game. \u00a0It also costs you credibility with the judge. \u00a0If a question is appropriate, the judge will order you to answer it. \u00a0The lawyers know the rules and how the judge enforces them. \u00a0You do not.<\/p>\n