{"id":2282,"date":"2019-10-30T00:00:26","date_gmt":"2019-10-30T00:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fdfamilylaw.wpenginepowered.com\/?p=2282"},"modified":"2023-04-26T14:44:40","modified_gmt":"2023-04-26T14:44:40","slug":"the-good-divorce-myth-or-reality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fdfamilylaw.com\/the-good-divorce-myth-or-reality\/","title":{"rendered":"The Good Divorce: Myth or Reality?"},"content":{"rendered":"
Everyone has a story about someone who went through a horrible divorce.\u00a0 But what about a good divorce?\u00a0 Is this even possible?\u00a0 Actually, more and more couples are proving that you can have a good divorce.\u00a0 However, most of these couples didn\u2019t just fall into a peaceful uncoupling.\u00a0 Instead, they worked at it.\u00a0 If both parties agree that a divorce is the best solution, they can also agree to have a good divorce.\u00a0 Even if only one party is committed to a good divorce, their attitude and approach can shape the proceedings in a way that a commitment to discord and hostility won\u2019t.\u00a0 But you have to have a plan.\n

Identify and Honor Your Values<\/h2>\n

As you plan your divorce, consider your own personal values, either as a couple or as individuals.\u00a0 You may value integrity, honesty, compromise.\u00a0 Or you may choose kindness, friendship, and a commitment to the children.\u00a0 There really aren\u2019t any \u201cright\u201d or \u201cwrong\u201d values.\u00a0 However, they may vary in priority from person to person.\u00a0 Choose your values and write them down.\u00a0\u00a0 Now put the list in a place where you will see it every morning and every evening.\u00a0 Consider making more than one list.\u00a0 Put one on the bathroom mirror, one in the kitchen, and one inside the visor in your car.\u00a0 When things get bumpy, and odds are, they will, even if just for a small amount of time, repeat your values to yourself.\u00a0 Choose your response consistent with your values, rather than reacting on impulse.<\/p>\n

Select Support Professionals<\/h2>\n

Getting divorced can take a long time in Maryland.\u00a0 Choose support professionals that can offer coaching as you go through the process.\u00a0 You can hire a divorce coach (yes! That is actually a thing!).\u00a0 Alternatively, you can choose a mental health professional to see.\u00a0 The purpose of hiring a professional is to find a sounding board to discuss your perspective and get feedback from an objective person who does not have a vested interest in your situation.\u00a0 While you may have a best friend or a supportive parent who will offer comfort, the support professional will help you wrestle with your issues without the emotions that often come with discussing your situation with a loved one.\u00a0 Additionally, the professional you choose will undoubtably have some strategies for coping with difficult times and unexpected feelings as you process your divorce.<\/p>\n

Actively Plan For Your Physical and Mental Health<\/h2>\n

Self care is always important.\u00a0 It is also easy to put self care on the back burner for far too long \u2013 even during the best of times.\u00a0 In order to have a good divorce, you need to be in a good place.\u00a0 This means making sure you are getting enough sleep, providing your body with nutrients rather than empty calories, and exercising.\u00a0 It also means taking time to just relax and let your mind go.\u00a0 Whether this comes from a soothing massage, a soothing swim, or a guided meditation, taking care of you is a critical first step.\u00a0 Because many of us are not accustomed to self care, and because even a good divorce can be draining at times, take a few moments to write up a plan of action for your physical and mental well being.\u00a0 Put it on the calendar.\u00a0 These plans are just as important as your plans with friends and meetings with your boss.\u00a0 Respect this time with yourself.<\/p>\n

Become Involved in Your Good Divorce<\/h2>\n

Actively taking steps to participate in your divorce process can give you the feeling of more control of the situation.\u00a0 This does not mean drafting your own motions and filing them with the court.\u00a0 Nor does it mean telling your attorney what exhibits to create.\u00a0 Instead, it means proactively choosing how you want to proceed with your divorce.\u00a0 Check your values list, and consider which approach may be best for you and your family.\u00a0 You can choose:<\/p>\n