{"id":9876,"date":"2025-05-14T17:39:16","date_gmt":"2025-05-14T17:39:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fdfamilylaw.com\/?p=9876"},"modified":"2026-05-04T18:00:41","modified_gmt":"2026-05-04T18:00:41","slug":"dating-after-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fdfamilylaw.com\/dating-after-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating After Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Spring has sprung after the long winter of your divorce\u2026or maybe you are not \u201cactually\u201d divorced yet but you separated and have watched everything there is to watch on Hulu, Paramount and Netflix, oh and Apple TV.\u00a0 Maybe it is time for you to bust out some new skills and foray back out into the dating world\u2026you brave, intrepid warrior for love, or maybe just sex.\u00a0 Totally up to you!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you have been out of the dating game for a while, the new dating scene needs a guidebook, or owner\u2019s manual or some sort of guidance\u2026it is a very different landscape than it was 20\/30 years ago, hell, it is vastly different than it was 5 years ago.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, before you dip your foot in the proverbial dating pool, here is what you need to know before you begin:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Odds Are Good, but the Goods are Odd:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The upside, you can find whatever it is you are looking for, tonight.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Throw up a profile on Tinder or Feeld and I can guarantee you, you will have many opportunities\u2026now for what, is very you dependent.\u00a0 I guess a major caveat is that you are most likely to find sex, whatever kind of sex you are into, lacking, or want to explore.\u00a0 Never has it been easier to get laid.\u00a0 Never in the history of humankind!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But all these \u201coptions\u201d come with risk.\u00a0 Not everyone out there on the sites is honest, truthful, disease free or even a real person.\u00a0 So, use caution before leaping into the deep end of the nascent dating pool!\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to get laid, endlessly message the banalities of everyday life or maybe even get coffee, the odds are good!\u00a0 But, trust me when I tell you that often the goods you think you are engaging with often turn out to be just a little off.\u00a0 Call me if you want a better explanation, I am going to need way more words than this post will allow to properly explain this\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What to do before you begin:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be honest about what you want!\u00a0 Love?\u00a0 Don\u2019t accept sex and think it will morph into love.\u00a0 Sex?\u00a0 Understand that there is every variety, flavor and option available, choose wisely.\u00a0 Fun?\u00a0 Understand that there might be better ways to have a good time.\u00a0 The emotional landscape of other people, is not always the best playground.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talk to your friends who have been single for a while.\u00a0 See what they have done and what results they feel they have achieved.\u00a0 In the end, you are going to have to try it for yourself\u2026but do the research first and save yourself a great deal of hardship and embarrassment along the way.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Give yourself some time.\u00a0 You may be dying to have sex as you leave that sexless marriage but you might be so emotionally damaged that a strong sexual connection is just going to further ruin you.\u00a0 Some people bounce out of marriages and are happily moving their lives forward and only too happy to have company along the way.\u00a0 Then there are others of us that take some time to heal and need to sit idle for some time.\u00a0 There is no right or wrong, just make sure you honor you along the way.\u00a0 If you need the time, take it.\u00a0 And understand that regardless of the relatively impersonal manner of online dating, most of the time you are dealing with real people who have real emotions.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The golden rule still applies.\u00a0 Sure, in today\u2019s world you can get away with a lot of shitty behavior.\u00a0 The internet provides us a level of distance that real life does not.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t want to be ghosted, then don\u2019t ghost.\u00a0 Orbiting feels awful, then don\u2019t you do it either.\u00a0 Being a good person doesn\u2019t guarantee you a good \u201cmatch\u201d but being a horrible person pretty much guarantees getting walloped good with karma\u2019s boomerang.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Look up and understand the following terms:\u00a0 ghosting, Orbiting or haunting, breadcrumbing, love bombing, fire dooring, hard balling, cat and kitten fishing, cushioning, zombeing and of course, and the ever present narcissist.\u00a0 Call me for further discussion or explanation.\u00a0 You are gonna need to have a working understanding of all of this not to lose your mind, your heart, your soul and your financial security!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be prepared by Have firm, but flexible boundaries.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do not lie, mostly to yourself. Then it is easy not to lie to others.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Know what you want and know what you can offer.\u00a0 Again, be as honest with yourself appraisal as you are about the relative capacities that exist in your date.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t be afraid to ask questions:\u00a0 of yourself, of your date, of your friends and colleagues, and of a coach if you feel completely out of your depths.\u00a0 This is not 1995.\u00a0 The issues are different, the platforms are completely new and you have been out of the game a long time.\u00a0 It is going to take some pretty intense adjustments to get your dating sea legs.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Go after what you want and make no apologies.\u00a0 If you just want to get laid twenty times a week by 25 year olds, you can do that.\u00a0 If you want to fall in love and blend families, you can do that too.\u00a0 Although I will tell you the first one is easier in the short run but harder later on, and the other is harder in the short term and well also harder later on.\u00a0 Your choice!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Finally, the best advice I can give someone entering the dating pool after a divorce is that you cannot get depth by only swimming in the shallow end.\u00a0 Be mindful of what you are putting out there, because like tends to attract like.\u00a0 The shallow waters are often warmer, but that also can mean you are just swimming in an area that everyone is peeing in\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">sure the depths are scary but isn\u2019t everything worthwhile in this life terrifying.\u00a0 Look at you, you were terrified to leave that awful marriage and look at ya now!\u00a0 On your way to your next mistake\u2026just kidding!\u00a0 You are on your way to the path of the rest of your life.\u00a0 Life is too short to be miserable or married to the wrong person.\u00a0 Dating can be fun but it is important to maintain a good perspective.\u00a0 Someone I recently met said there are two rules to life:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">#1 \u2013 Be safe<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">#2 \u2013 Have fun<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Seems to me if you apply these two rules to dating, you will do just fine.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As always, I am here to help and offer up any experience, strength and hope I can.\u00a0 Good luck out there &#8211;\u00a0 may you find whatever it is you are looking for and may it be everything you have ever wanted and more!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Spring has sprung after the long winter of your divorce\u2026or maybe you are not \u201cactually\u201d divorced yet but you separated and have watched everything there is to watch on Hulu, Paramount and Netflix, oh and Apple TV.\u00a0 Maybe it is time for you to bust out some new skills and foray back out into the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":9878,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Dating After Divorce - Fait &amp; DiLima Family Law<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dating after divorce can be challenging. 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